Tension and Conflict... our two favorite emotions
Yes, you read that correct- tension and conflict are our two favorite words, can you guess why? The reason is because they always produce change, and in our world, change means growth! I know many people hate change, and I was one of those people until I realized that not changing is what’s so scary.
We had a restaurant that we had built from the ground up and lovingly gone over every detail. On paper, there was no way we could fail. We had a combined experience of over 50 years in the industry, the team was great, the food was unique and delicious, the building was beautiful, and the operations were sound. So, when it was a major disaster from opening weekend and remained such - we had MAJOR tension and conflict. We went to bed with it, woke up with it, could not escape it. It was some of the hardest times I have had, and it lasted for four years... until I finally came to terms with what God had been trying to show me all along. I had tied my identity to the success or failure of the restaurant- which also means I tied my value as a person to that success or failure as well. The most amazing thing happened when God opened my eyes to what I was doing- I became free. It wasn’t an overnight process by any means but slowly and surely, I was changing, and the results personally, spiritually, and professionally were changing as well, for me they were monumental. I realized that I was shouldering not only my own expectations but also what I thought other people’s expectations of us were as well- that's a lot to shoulder. The coolest thing was when we had a buyer reach out to us to buy a restaurant space and land that was not for sale (another God thing), I could walk away and feel good about it. A year earlier, I wouldn’t have accepted the deal and feel certain I would be experiencing major financial issues today if that had been the end of the story.
The truth is that growth is not only inevitable, but it is critical, and a mindset that embraces that is what allows for that growth to flourish. So many times, we fall into a pattern of wanting growth or success without the work (pain) that goes into it. I meet with many business owners often who experience opportunity overload, or they are struggling to make a move, but they don’t know the next best step, so they sit still and either let opportunities pass or create bigger issues. Tension, pain, and conflict exist to warn us, to force us from the comfortable position we have been into the next big step. It takes work, courage, facing our fears, planning, strategy- none of which are fun, but the results are so worth it. Even though my restaurant never really turned around operationally, I would never begrudge the amount of growth that happened to me in that season, it is what set me up for the personal and professional successes I enjoy today.
